it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
