you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
