They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
