Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
