My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
