I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
