and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize