Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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