Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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