If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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