thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
