how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have aggressive nipples.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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