Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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