since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
