i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Damn victory sex feels great
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
