windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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