Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
