Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize