DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
