I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
