It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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