So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You are a genius and a whore.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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