Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
