ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
