i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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