There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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