Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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