I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize