Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
