he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize