i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she peed on how many people?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
