no, he came in my armpit
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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