how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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