sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
