remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
