The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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