It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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