going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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