we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize