Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
