Jerry, you need to find god
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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