Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I would fuck him just for his dog
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