four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
