Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
