a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
