Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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