Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
barbara walters just said penis...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
