I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I want to fling myself into the sun
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
