just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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