drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
