your room smells of hookers.
And success
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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