shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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