I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
