i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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