So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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