Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
