he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
