How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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