Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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